Forgotten
by Ellixer
Summary: Xena has been attacked and Gabrielle is missing. Thing is, Xena can't remember what happened or who did it. How will she find her friend, will she find her?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Forgotten

Rating: M

Author: Ellixer

Pairing: X/G

Disclaimer: Characters and show are owned by Universal and others. The story is mine. I make nothing.

Note: Xena has been attacked and Gabrielle is missing, but she can't remember what happened or who did it. Can she find her friend again, will redemption be had?

The pain behind my eyes is intense but I force them open. I can hear a gasp and two pairs of feet running towards me. I try to move but it causes my stomach to churn.

'Xena?!'

'Mother?' I look up at my mother, her eyes wild with concern. 'Where am I?' I look around seeing Joxer come up to my other side. 'Where's Gabrielle?' They both look at each other, exchanging worried looks.

'We were hoping you knew.' Joxer says with this sad look on his face. I force myself up in a sitting position, ignoring the pain and the nausea.

'You need to rest darling.' Their hands are on me, trying to push me back down.

'What happened?'

'We don't know.' My mother hands me some water, but I don't want it.

'I found you just off the road, I didn't think you were gonna make it.' Joxers eyes water slightly. 'You don't remember anything?' I drop my head in my hand, trying to think.

'The last thing I remember is…' The last thing I remember is kissing Gabrielle. Before that though. 'We were coming home, to Amphipolis.' I look up at my mom. 'How long have I been here?' Again they look at each other, as if they don't want to say. My mother sighs.

'It's been a week.' She doesn't look at me.

'What?!' I jump up to my feet, but I can barely stand as pain sears through both of my legs. What in Tartarus happened? I fall back down on my ass. Both of my legs are unnaturally swollen, the color ranging from purple to blue to yellow. Then I realize my arm is broken, how did I not notice that?

'It looks like you got the tar beat out of you.' Joxer says nodding at me. I just glare up at him.

'You didn't go look for her?' He looks at me in surprise.

'You were half dead and there were no clues. I had no idea what happened.' I know he would have looked for her if he could, but that doesn't make me feel any better.

'Where's Argo?' He shrugs. This is really not good. Why can't I remember anything? 'We need to find her.'

'You're in no shape..' I cut of my mother's words with a glare. Even if I were paralyzed I'd find a way to search for her. 'Ok, we'll figure something out. Please just lay back down right now.' She looks at me sadly.

'Wait!' Joxer suddenly exclaims, grabbing my broken arm. I'd kill him if it didn't hurt so much. He immediately backs away. 'Sorry. Umm but I think Autolycus is a close, the next village maybe.'

'Get him.' I manage to say through gritted teeth. He clumsily stumbles backwards and out of the room. I sigh. 'Mother we have to find her.'

'I know dear, I know.' She's rubbing my head tenderly. 'But you are in no state to help her.'

'If only I could remember what the Haedes happened.'

'Try and get some rest and maybe it will come back to you.' Rest, like I could sleep when Gabrielle has been out there for a week and God's know what has been happening to her. I lay down and close my eyes, listening for my mother to walk away. As soon as she's gone, my eyes pop open and I take a better assessment of my injuries.

There's nothing broken on my legs, but movement will still be painful. My arm seems to have been set correctly, and one or two ribs are broken. Not to mention various bruises and cuts that are now nearly healed. Frantically I look around for staffs or anything I can lean on to help me walk. There's a broom and a mop in the corner. I snap off the end of the mop as it's the longest and grab my armor and weapons off the table.

Making my way out to the stable, I hope that there are at least a decent number of horses being kept here. I need to pick the best one to..borrow because I don't exactly know where I'm going right now. I find a black stallion that is an obvious war horse. He will do just fine.

'Where exactly are you going to start looking?' I had heard him come in but didn't really care.

'How did Joxer find you so quick Autolycus?' I find the horses gear and begin strapping it on.

'He didn't. I heard through the grapevine that something had happened to the great warrior princess. Rumor was she's dead and her friend has been taken as a slave.' I freeze as anger surges through every vein and every muscle.

'What?' I turn, glaring at the king of thieves. He holds his hands up in self defense.

'I'm just telling you what I heard.' I stalk up to him in best a manner I can, my face only inches from his.

'What do you know Autolycus?' He's becoming nervous, sweating as he looks at me.

'I was at an Inn when I overheard some guys at another table talking.' He attempts a step or two back. 'Now mind you there had been no shortage on the ale between them.' He laughs but quickly gets back to his story. 'They were saying they were part of an army, specifically sent to kill you. Gabrielle was just a prize they said.' He lowers his head and says the last part quietly.

'But they didn't kill me.' My jaw is clenched and I feel like I'm going to explode.

'They apparently thought they did.' Well, at least I have the element of surprise. 'Xena, you can't do anything in this condition.'

'You expect me to leave her with those barbarians a moment longer?' I seethe, spittle flying from my mouth.

'No, but how are you going to fight anyone like this?' His body cowers slightly. 'And there's no trail to follow anymore, where are you going to start looking?' He straightens up as if he's got his bravado back.

'No, but we're going to find those men.'

'But you don't know what they look….wait what?' I just glare at him. 'Yes I'd be more than happy to help.' He clears his throat. 'Let me just get my things.' He pivots on his heel and walks quickly out of the barn. He'll help me because he wants to, not because I'll kill him otherwise.


	2. Chapter 2

Forgotten 2

I continually slump over in my saddle, I've even resorted to tying myself in to make sure I don't fall off. Autolycus is leading me to where I was found. It's not much but it's a start. He keeps glancing back at me, even though I can barely move my head I can see his constant turning back.

'Here.' He says finally, jumping from his horse. It takes me a moment, but I refuse his help as I untangle from my horse and limp my way to the bare patch of earth just off to the side of the road. It takes me seconds to see the gleaming metal that sits over by a tree. I hobble over as quick as I can, reaching down with a growl, more of frustration than of pain.

'How did no one see this?' I hold the sais up for Autolycus to see. He looks perplexed, shrugging his shoulders at me. Dried blood is streaked down its shaft; I can only hope it's not Gabrielle's. I spin round and round, trying to take in ever rock and blade of grass, looking for something to jog my memory. Nothing, nothing at all.

'Somebody saw something.' I seethe under my breath. We have to find someone who saw something, it doesn't matter how small. Right now there's nothing for me to go on, I need something, I have to find her.

'Xena.' I swing around, pain nearly making me tumble over. 'Whoever did this probably thinks you're dead. We should use that to our advantage.' There's a nervous edge to him, something I'm missing but I'm finding it hard to focus that clearly right now. But he is right, I can't go crashing through village after village. 'Look let's get you back to the tavern and I can find out if anyone knows anything.'

'Don't take Joxer.' I growl. He holds his hands up.

'I won't.'

I wake up, body shooting straight up in the bed, body covered in sweat, my hair skewed all over. For a second I forget why I'm here, I forget what happened. Then suddenly it all drops like a cauldron of oil on me as I fall back against the bed. I still can't remember anything that happened and what could have happened to Gabrielle. That's the part that kills me the most, but I believe she's alive, I feel it inside of me. I also think they aren't telling me something. The nervousness Autolycus exuded was the kind he gets when he's afraid that I might do him bodily harm. He's hiding something from me. If I was in better shape I could probably figure that out, but right now my brain is addled; my body is broken.

My mother comes walking in with a pitcher of water in her hands. She attempts a smile but it looks forced. 'How are you feeling dear?' I study her face for a second.

'When are you going to tell me the truth?' Her body tenses noticeably but she tries her best to go on.

'What are you talking about dear?' She turns her back to me, pouring water into a mug.

'Don't play games with me mother.' I adopt the menacing tone that I used to have when I roamed the countryside with my own army. Her head drops but the tension in her body doesn't ease.

'We know what happened.' Her voice is barely a whisper. I'm trying to scramble my way out of the bed, but my journey on the horse has hindered my movements even more.

'What do you mean?' I carefully mask the anger that burns inside me.

'Gabrielle had gone to save you. You had given yourself up and they had you tied to the back of a horse and they dragged you for nearly a mile. They only stopped because she stepped in.' My body is leaning nearly off the bed.

'Where is she?' Slowly my mother turns, tears in her eyes.

'Xena, she's dead.'


	3. Chapter 3

Listened to Godspeed You Black Emperor – East Hastings

Forgotten 3

I feel like the world has suddenly gone dark. She can't possibly mean what she just said. This has to be some sort of trick, a game being played by the God's, or Ares. The fear in her eyes seems to explode as I stand, pushing through the pain I feel. Something has been feeling wrong this whole time. Why can't I remember what happened? Not even a little spec of a memory, everything is gone.

Should I play along for now? I need to figure out the truth. She's not dead, I would be able to feel it deep down within me. What I feel is that she's alive, Gabrielle is alive. I'm going to hold on the that feeling no matter what they tell me but I will give them the reaction they want. They want anger and devastation.

My eyes narrow at my mother. If that's who she even really is. It's not hard to feel the pain of losing Gabrielle, I can imagine it all to easily as I have felt it before. I limp to the table, grasping the edge until it crumbles in my hand. Then I toss the entire table across the room as if it was nothing but a child's toy. The woman portraying my mother gasps, hands clutching at her chest in surprise.

'Now Xena…'

"How do you know she's dead!' I yell as loud as I can manage. She seems truly stunned by my outburst. This may be my mother after all.

'Xena honey.' She puts her arms out, trying to pacify me. 'We didn't want to tell you until you were healed.' I grab a chair, throwing it across the room where it shatters against the wall. My mother cringes.

'Please.' She begs. 'This won't bring her back.' Her eyes brim with tears. Part of me wants to cry, but I refuse to accept that she is dead so I refuse to cry. I manage to calm myself slightly, still playing the role of the warrior going over the edge.

'How. Do. You. Know.' I look into her eyes, feeling a little guilty that I have to do this to her. She looks at me a moment the walks to the mantle over the fireplace grabbing a small vase. It's dark green in color. Her hands tremble as she hands it over to me. My breath catches in my throat, I feel as if I'm about to choke. I look up at my mother, now I can't stop the tears that begin to spill from my eyes uncontrolled. She simply nods at me as I try to swallow down the sobs that are coming from somewhere deep down within me.

I fall to my knees, the pain no longer registering as I've been overcome by a different kind of pain. My soul is telling me she is still alive but I can't help this feeling of loss that is so overwhelming and consuming. I clasp the urn between my hands, falling over to the floor as sobs soon overtake my body. I scream out her name as rationality leaves me. I don't have to play the game, the game is playing me.

At some point, my mother cradles me in her arms, my head resting in her lap. I cry till there are no more tears, then I just lie still because I can't bring myself to move. I don't accept it but I mourn all the same. Now though I'm more determined to prove that she is still alive and that someone is trying to push me back to the dark side. I could no longer go back there, I would never do that because she has changed me forever.

The pain of the injuries is finally leeching back into my reality, so with the help of my mother I crawl back up into the bed.

'I'm sorry.' I manage to say as she wipes my tear stained cheeks. She shakes her head at me.

'I know what she meant to you.' She can't bring herself to look me in the eyes though. I don't she does know, not really, no one does. 'You should rest, I'll get you something to eat.' She walks out without another word, closing the door behind her.

'What do you want Ares?'

'You don't let me have any fun.' He appears before me with a sickening smirk.

'I'm in no mood for your games right now.'

'Hey I'm just here as a friend.' He attempts to look innocent. He has never once been innocent.

'Who's friend?'

'Yours of course.' There's an evil glint in his eyes. He reaches up, playing with my hair. I do my best to control the urge to stab him, even though it wouldn't do a thing to him. 'Now I know you need a shoulder to cry on, and I thought hey, why not me.' He smirks in that way that makes me want to vomit.

'That's not what I need right now.'

'Oh I know.' His lips curl into a smile. 'Revenge is what you need.' I glare back at him.

'Do you know who did this?'

'Maybe I do and maybe I don't. But I can help you with your little memory problem, oh and all this.' He waves his arms the length of my body. I know for certain he is the one behind all this.

'How?' I stand, somewhat unstable. First his finger touches my forehead. A blinding pain shoots across my skull as images are slapped into my brain. I remember getting dragged, like my mom said. In fact everything she said is true, except I still don't see Gabrielle, anywhere in my memories of the whole incident. Hmm can the God's plant false memories, or only restore true ones? I replay the events over and over but can't seem to find the clues I'm looking for. Maybe he's hidden them from me. I pull away from my thoughts with a shake of my head.

'Now I can fix everything else if you let me help you get revenge.' I eye him for a moment, then the urn that's still grasped tightly in my hands.

'Whatever, I don't care just do it.' I make sure to spit the words out with hatred, I don't welcome his help, I just want revenge. I would never actually do this but I need to find out the truth. As he puts his hands on me I cringe a little. There was a time when I probably would have enjoyed his touch. Too much has happened since then. A warmth washes over me and suddenly all the pain is gone. I look down at my body only to see smooth tan skin again.

His fingers linger a little too long on me so I brush them roughly away. He gives me a mock look of hurt. I'm sure he thinks he can win me over in no time with Gabrielle out of the way. Even if it were true, it just wouldn't happen. That would be like defiling her memory and I couldn't do that to her.

'Now, where do we start?'


	4. Chapter 4

Forgotten 4

There's a fresh thread of darkness coursing through my veins, but Ares doesn't know that I can control it easily. I have to look like I can't though and I have to make it convincing. I wrap the urn up tightly and always keep it at my side. I wonder who's ashes are in there, or if it's even the ashes of a person.

He looms by me constantly, whispering in my ear, trying to seduce me towards darkness and towards him. He only succeeds in making me hate him more and more with every passing second.

'Quit playing games Ares. Are you going to tell me or not, cus I have to kick someone's ass right now.' I snarl at him. He smirks at me, the dark Xena gets him excited.

'Tisk tisk Xena. One thing at a time.' He waves a finger at me. 'Now I have a little problem I need your help with first.' This is only to be expected from the God of War. He may never tell me the information I want to know, hoping I find killing too much to resist.

'What?' I curl my lip at him, a sickness building in my stomach.

'There's a pesky little warlord that needs to be…. taken care of.' His eyebrow arches as he crosses his arms across his chest.

'And you want me to what? Kill him?'

'You read my mind. See I knew this would work out.' I let his comment slip, but it doesn't go completely unnoticed from me.

'Gloating doesn't look pretty on you.' He merely smirks in reply. He circles me too closely for my liking; the energy he radiates makes me want to vomit. 'Tell me who.' Usual story; the guy pissed Ares off. Like I really give a shit.

'I thought you could maybe, I don't know kill him and take command of his men.' He stops his pacing, coming up nearly against me. 'You will need an army.' He's licking his lips as he looks at me. I place a finger under his chin, forcing his eyes from my breasts to my face.

'Always thinking ahead.' I think he likes the coldness in my eyes.

'Well, you know me.' His chest puffs out and he poses as if for a statue. 'Now you know if you need to work out a little….anger before that..' He leans in close as if to kiss me. I take my finger, trailing it slowly down his chest. My tongue takes a slow trip across my lips before I turn walking away. I make it worth his while to watch me leave, exaggerating the sway of my hips. He's so easy.

I flip the sais over and over in my hand, contemplating, analyzing. The blood is real but I have no way of knowing who's it is. Shit. There has to be something I'm missing, anything. I can feel my mother's eyes on me as I walk away. She couldn't understand what I'm doing, because to her Gabrielle is dead. Why fight for the memory of someone who would've hated the exact thing I'm about to do?

Walking this road alone is harder than I could ever have imagined. Closing my eyes I imagine that she's walking right by my side. I can smell the scent of her soap, hear her humming something under her breath. I want to reach out to feel that she really is here. But there is nothing but empty space as my traveling companion.

I have to wonder if I can really keep my darkness under control. I may be stepping into something I can never return from, but I'll gladly do it a thousand times over if it means seeing her again. I know I'll see her, because if she was dead right now, then I would be too.

'Hey Xena!' Joxer is running towards me. I'm not sure if I should keep him from following me or to just let him come along and see the damage I can do.

'I couldn't find Autolycus. They said he hadn't been there for weeks.' He's panting from running as he tries to keep up with my quick pace. I already figured that I hadn't met the real King of Thieves that night in the stables. Someone thinks I'm easily fooled though and that's really beginning to get on my nerves.

'Hey, where ya going?'

'I have some things to take care of.' I try not to sound too menacing but his attitude immediately changes.

'What about Gabrielle?' He asks. Reaching out I grab the collar of his shirt, twisting the fabric in my hand.

'She's dead.' He looks uncomfortable and sad as his eyes drop.

'I wanted to tell you.' His voice is already defeated. I can't believe he loves her when he is always so quick to let her go. I release his shirt, watching as he readjusts himself.

'Joxer go home.' Turning from him, I continue my determined march down the road.

'But Xena?' He's stuck in his spot, unsure of what he should do. For the moment I've sufficiently scared him, but I know he will eventually follow me. I don't have time to worry about him. I'm already pushing him out of my mind, trying to focus on the last time I saw her.

Gabrielle had practically begged to visit Amphipolis. She wanted a bed and a meal she didn't have to cook. She had so many ideas of what to do with the down time. Aside from shopping of course, we needed to get reacquainted with the less dangerous aspects of our lives.

'_Come on Xena, please?' She tries to pout at me._

'_Fine.' I roll my eyes at her, like I could really say no. She's jumping into my arms, throwing her legs around my waist, her arms around my neck. 'Gabrielle.' I caution her, but it's pointless as her lips meet mine. Instantly I'm lost in her energy. It's been too long since we've actually took the time to be; just me and her and nothing but skin against skin._

_I could take her, right here right now as a savage feeling begins to grow within me. She's relentless and hungry with her kiss, dominating me, taking control. This is a dangerous game to play as I stand with her in my arms, in the middle of this dirt road where anyone can come across us._

An invisible hand is squeezing my chest, crushing every bone in my body. At least that's what it feels like right now. Why would Ares keep her alive? He's not as confident in his plan as he tries to pretend. He needs a last minute leverage item. Haven't we been through this before? This time I'm sure she's not laying in a hospice somewhere. If I continue to imagine what might be happening; the darkness will grow beyond my control.


	5. Chapter 5

Forgotten 5

Everything feels black to me right now. I've made a choice and I'm sticking to it. This man is no innocent so I feel no remorse in what I'm about to do. It's something I've done a thousand times before, nothing new.

The air feels cold around me, though it's the heat of summer. As I march into his camp his men do nothing but stare. What are they supposed to do? I'm not attacking them, I'm not saying a word to anyone. Plus I'm Xena; who can defeat me.

I stride with deadly purpose towards his tent. It's always the biggest one in camp, not hard to guess. Two med stand guard at its entrance, but their weapons are sheathed. In one fluid movement I unsheathe my sword, bringing it out in front of me, slicing both men's throats before they can even twitch a muscle. Without pause I keep moving forward and into the depths of the tent. The warlord looks at me shocked as he stands hovering over his table of maps. He's not sure what to make of me as I just keep walking forward weapon out. He looks around frantically just before my sword slides into his gut. I twist it a little before yanking it back out of his flesh, metal glistening red.

That was easy enough; what's next?

'I thought there would be more, I don't know, blood.' Ares voice materializes behind me. He circles into my view, a look of disdain on his face. 'I was hoping for a big battle, lots of bodies.'

'He's dead like you wanted.' I scowl at him.

'I don't know Xena, I think you're losing your touch.' My sword point is at his throat before he notices any movement. I can't kill him, but I can make an effective point. His hands raise in defense. 'Hey, ok you're just getting started.' I lower my sword once more.

'I did what you wanted, now tell me.' An evil smirk crosses his face.

'Well, your little girlfriend.' He pauses, eyes narrowing at me. 'She wasn't just killed, oh no. They had a little…fun with her.' I'm barely managing to suppress the rage, but I know that's what he wants to see.

'Tell me.' I growl

'I'm afraid I can't do that.' He smiles as I run my sword through his body.

'Ares! Don't play with me.' I snarl, spitting in his face.

'You'll find out in due time.' He vanishes with a smirk. I beginning to think my plan isn't going to work. Ares wants me to stew until I drive myself crazy with rage. I need to go back over my memory and try to find a clue.

'_Are you Xena?' A big man with a booming voice steps up to us. He's flanked by over a dozen men, just as big and just as menacing. This is never a good sign, how can it be?_

'_If I said I was?' He gives me a sneer._

'_You have crimes lodged against you, you must answer to the charges and deal with the consequences.'_

'_What crimes exactly?' Gabrielle asks, stepping just slightly in front of me. He looks her over, lust flaring in his eyes._

'_Does it matter?' He smirks at her, licking his lips._

'_Yes it matters.' She steps closer, showing him she's not intimidated. This only seems to heighten the man's lusts._

'_Crimes against Greece.' The man spits as he talks, turning his glare back to me._

'_Well that could be anything….' Gabrielle trails off, her thoughts obviously racing._

'_If I don't come willingly?'_

'_Well see my men here, they haven't been home in a while.' His tongue licks across his teeth as they all turn to look at Gabrielle._

'_Xena, don't.' She says automatically, turning towards me and grabbing my arms._

My own sense of guilt got me into that mess. They never said who was charging me or what the crimes were. If I hadn't been so selfish in thinking about myself, we may never even have gotten into this whole thing. I walked willingly into a trap out of my sense of duty and honor. I could have fought them, I should have.

I try to remember more, but once again Gabrielle seems to be missing from the rest of my memory. I guess I'll just have to carry on with the plan. Grabbing the dead man by his hair, I drag him outside the tent. The men prepare to strike, but once they realize their leader is dead their swords lower.

'Listen up. Leave if you want, but you are under my leadership now.' I can hear my name being whispered on the men's lips. 'Do what I say or you will not live to see another day.' No one doubts my promise, a few cower instinctively. 'Fight and stay loyal, and you will be rewarded. Now clean this camp up and beef up the sentries.' The men scramble, some tripping over themselves as they run to do my bidding. I'm liking this a little too much.


End file.
